Reason why never visit a 5 Star Hotel

Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"
Answer: "tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"
Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"
Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"
Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "
Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"
Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "
Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst

My take on Chain mails..

Hii...

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005 and 2006.

Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland or my Laptop !!.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana,Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..and i was facing miracles everysecond by forwarding such mails

Now most of those "love Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

I know how important my friends are to me, I'll always remember them no matter I remember my work or not

IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not send this e-mail to at least
786 people in the next 60 seconds, a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m. sharp.

Give me a break!!
"The World Is Filled WIth Foolish Ppl And Some Think They Got Talent Too !!!"

Well found this on a leading Health magazine site

Questions and Answers about Health

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything
wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not
make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live
longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and
vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a
cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is
distilled wine, that means they take the water out of
the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness
that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio
is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in
a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days
in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets
bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO...... Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales
to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you
may have had about food and diets.