For those who r married as well as for those who will get Married...

Sharing a few thoughts for would - be grooms

For Would-Be Grooms:

Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's!
There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!

Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in
15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her!
Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved???

Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for?
Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon!
Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!

Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO!! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm!! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now!

Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them!! Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times!
Remember she has given up a lot more to make a life with you!!

Sharing thoughts for Would - be Brides. (Don't know how many will take it in the right sense. But still...)

1. Don't expect too much from him. Less the expectations lesser the disappointments.

2. Don't ever dare to plan any outing or movie on a day when there is an interesting cricket match going on. REMEMBER SPORTS CRICKET> is more important to him than anything else. U spoil his day n He spoils urs

3. Over Emotions, Sentiments... Woha... What are these? Tears are not going to give any results either. It's just a temp. attention tht u get. No one likes Cry Babies m Whining Wifes.

4. Never dare to cross with his mother.Even if he says "My Mom's cooking is the best. U are nothing in front of her." take it easily with a smile. Tell him tht u are learning from his mother and will try to do it better. U are not gonna lose anything!

5. Try to know his friends and understand that they are also part of his world.Allow him to spend few weekends or occasional night out parties with his friends.But at the same time make sure that u get u r due importance! It must not be tht he roams arnd with his friends forgetting that you exist at home.

6. Don't start fighting for silly things.Forgetting bthdays n Anniversaries is not a big mistake. Men are not blessed with 2 GB RAM for storing everything in main memory.If you are very particular abt present gifts n parties on u r bthdays n anniversaries.make sure u remind them well in advance by some means (I know it sounds stupid. But if u are so particular, Do it for u r own good)

7. Take him for your shopping only if he's interested.If you are going for Window Shopping or for saree purchase,Better go with your friends/go alone.He is better at office/home watching cricket.

8. Give him importance always. Show due care and affection.Tht's the only way to win a guy's mind.

Life in the Australian Army

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
(For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small
town west Of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland)

Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers
Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on
the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart
before the jobs are all gone!

I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because
ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like
sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is
make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform.
No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to
stack - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shave though, but its
not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a
light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's
no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes.
You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time
all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a
'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the
windmill in the back paddock!!
I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno
why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum
and it don't move and its not firing back at ya like
the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into
their prize cows before the Ekka last year! You don't even load
your own cartridges - they comes in little boxes and
ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar
of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I
gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not
like fighting with Doug, Phil, Jack, Boori, Steve and Muzza all at once
like we do at home
after the muster.Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and I've only
been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers, but I fought him till
the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.
I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to
get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter

LIFE BEFORE COMPUTERS:

** An application was for employment
** A program was a TV show
** A cursor used profanity
** A keyboard was a piano!
** Memory was something that you lost with age
** A CD was a bank account!
** And if you had a broken disk, It would hurt when you found out!
** Compress was something you did to garbage, Not something you did to a file
** If you unzipped anything in public you'd be in jail for a while!
** Log on was adding wood to a fire
** Hard drive was a long trip on the road
** A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
** And a backup happened to your commode!
** Cut - you did with a pocket knife
** Paste - you did with glue
** A web was a spider's home
** And a virus was the flu!

Telemarketeers !!

10 ways to stop those credit card sales, idea/hutch/airtel , insurance calls etc..and if they don't stop, at least you've had your fun!!


1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.

2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.

3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold.
Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.

6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up...louder...louder...louder!

7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.

8. If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems............"

9. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?" When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking. This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.

10. Tell the HSBC call center guy to call on your office number. - and give him the ICICI call center number.